I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize