What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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