Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
