I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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