Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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