I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
