Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
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My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
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I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.