I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Your mankini haunted my dreams.