This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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