He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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