Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize