I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
