you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
