somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize