i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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