I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
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he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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