so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize