Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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