Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
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Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
not ubering you a puppy
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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