so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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