That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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