Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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