there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
