Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
