you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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