Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
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Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
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What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The air taste purple.
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