She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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