I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize