Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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