I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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