What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.