I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
