My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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