we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize