alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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