bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
