Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize