it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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