I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.