i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.