woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
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I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
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it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot