let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
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It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
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my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit