Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug