he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind