pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
