And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
bring money and cleavage
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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