WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize