So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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