conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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