just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize