problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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