6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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