Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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