Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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