I wish I only lived at night.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
