Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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